Depression

What kind of day will today be?
Will I be on my knees
or smiling and happy?
Will I get anything done?
What will I be able to accomplish?
These tears are draining the life from me.
What will be thrown at me today?
I need to know.
My defenses have been shattered
You can take what you want.
Take me... please
i'm tired of this fight
Daily
I know that whetever is thrown
will surely wound me
But you see, I am happy
Happy for you
yes you...
you survived a six month trip
out in the wilderness
And you finally have a guy
An experience so neccesary and wanted
Although you and me
girl- i don't know what to say
I know we have work comin our way
i swear, i just wanna know what to do
And you
congratulations
finally moving on from a hopeless situation
it seems you've found someone new
i hope that she is good to you
in ways that i could never be
but god i miss you
and i don't know how to leave you alone
I promise to try my best anyway
Don't worry, of course i'm happy for you too
husband ;-)
You deserve all of this
and eternal bliss
but you should know
you're presence is missed at home
You're the only person I have ever known
That has truly loved me for who I am
You are the man.
I am happy for all of you
but i am selfish
I wanna be happy for me
I've been here many times before- alone
I did not find what I was looking for.
It did not build strength in me
It built walls and insecurities
Disappointment in having to need
I just want to be taken care of today
But I am picky
I only want help from those who will be around
Do not lift my hopes up
just to drop them on the ground
So, I will need to do this by myself
I will continue the fight
It's the only choice I have, right?