Alone

here i am again
stuck between stop and go
do i like too much
or not enough?
i always seem to find myself here
drawn in as friends
i know i need to give you up
why do i always do this?
fall as friends
allow myself to open up
never as lovers
that's obviously too much

so i slept next to you the other night
the familiarity of your touch...
rivaled the familiarity of rejection the next day
i thought i had it all figured out
i'm tough, my head can handle this stuff
denying truth as you drew me in
just like the one before you
but you are so much more
i can't seem to keep things straight
i did not mean to complicate things
i'm being real when i say
i understand the situation i put you in...

i'm trying so hard to give you up
but what will happen if i give up too much?
will we stay in touch?
i need you right now
you fill a hole i cannot replace
lead me to strength
there must be a solution
i know we can figure this out

what lessons am i to learn?
will our result be a sign?
will "we" survive?

perhaps i'm destined to be isolated
can't commit to lovers
don't know how to be just friends
perhaps this is my punishment
the price of not being straight
perhaps one day i'll figure this out
in the mean time
the only place for me to go
is alone